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Thread: Poorly-worded headlines

  1. #1
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    Poorly-worded headlines

    As an English teacher, I am fascinated by the people who have not heard about this thing called syntax. Thought it might be funny if we compiled a list of some brutal headlines.

    I'll start, and frankly, this will be hard to top:

    Christian college punished football players who raped and beat a student with an 8-page essay

    http://deadstate.org/christian-colle...-8-page-essay/
    Sincerely yours,
    Upset

  2. #2
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    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Upset View Post
    Christian college punished football players who raped and beat a student with an 8-page essay

    http://deadstate.org/christian-colle...-8-page-essay/
    Haven't read the article yet but the headline makes it sound like they beat the person with an 8-page essay....
    "Tequila may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."

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  4. #4
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    A phonebook would work better.
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    A phonebook would work better.
    Or a book on writing and grammar.
    Obviously, nobody involved had one handy.

    No Ria, the 8 page essay is the punishment for the football players just for having a little harmless fun involving duct tape, a pillow case, an abduction, a beating and some attempted anal violations.

    You've got to admit, requiring many college football players to read or even write 8 pages of anything involving more than just pictures is pretty extreme.
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.



  6. #6
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    The area where I live is mountainous so.....this one time when a couple of guys got into some trouble while on top of one the aforementioned mountains, the headline in the local newspaper read:

    "Two Men Accused Of Lewd Conduct On Top Of Chunky Gal"

    (Chunky Gal is one of the aforementioned mountains here)

    Someone sent that headline into WUSY - US101 in Chattanooga, TN and the DJs at the time, Bill Poindexter (Dex) & David Earl Hughes got a huge laugh out of that headline!! LOL!!
    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's Heaven on Earth" - Mark Twain

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Trout View Post
    The area where I live is mountainous so.....this one time when a couple of guys got into some trouble while on top of one the aforementioned mountains, the headline in the local newspaper read:

    "Two Men Accused Of Lewd Conduct On Top Of Chunky Gal"
    Yeah, well; that headline could apply to any number of us; on a good day.

    I had to resort to finding a few online, I don't have any recent, local examples:

    "Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

    "War Dims Hope for Peace"

    "Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

    And my favorite:

    "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
    Last edited by JimC; 02-16-2018 at 07:59 PM. Reason: added headlines
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.



  8. #8
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    "Uber Eats driver sought in shooting death of customer" I'm not sure if this is incorrect or not, but I LMAO seeing this first thing in the morning.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...cid=spartandhp
    Stay in Drugs. Eat your School. Don't do Vegetables.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    "Uber Eats driver sought in shooting death of customer" I'm not sure if this is incorrect or not, but I LMAO seeing this first thing in the morning.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...cid=spartandhp
    I saw that too this morning.
    Last edited by cindyt; 02-19-2018 at 10:27 AM.
    GOD IS NOT DEAD





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