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Thread: Poorly-worded headlines

  1. #1
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    Poorly-worded headlines

    As an English teacher, I am fascinated by the people who have not heard about this thing called syntax. Thought it might be funny if we compiled a list of some brutal headlines.

    I'll start, and frankly, this will be hard to top:

    Christian college punished football players who raped and beat a student with an 8-page essay

    http://deadstate.org/christian-colle...-8-page-essay/
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  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Upset View Post
    Christian college punished football players who raped and beat a student with an 8-page essay

    http://deadstate.org/christian-colle...-8-page-essay/
    Haven't read the article yet but the headline makes it sound like they beat the person with an 8-page essay....
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  4. #4
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    A phonebook would work better.
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    A phonebook would work better.
    Or a book on writing and grammar.
    Obviously, nobody involved had one handy.

    No Ria, the 8 page essay is the punishment for the football players just for having a little harmless fun involving duct tape, a pillow case, an abduction, a beating and some attempted anal violations.

    You've got to admit, requiring many college football players to read or even write 8 pages of anything involving more than just pictures is pretty extreme.
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.

  6. #6
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    The area where I live is mountainous so.....this one time when a couple of guys got into some trouble while on top of one the aforementioned mountains, the headline in the local newspaper read:

    "Two Men Accused Of Lewd Conduct On Top Of Chunky Gal"

    (Chunky Gal is one of the aforementioned mountains here)

    Someone sent that headline into WUSY - US101 in Chattanooga, TN and the DJs at the time, Bill Poindexter (Dex) & David Earl Hughes got a huge laugh out of that headline!! LOL!!
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Trout View Post
    The area where I live is mountainous so.....this one time when a couple of guys got into some trouble while on top of one the aforementioned mountains, the headline in the local newspaper read:

    "Two Men Accused Of Lewd Conduct On Top Of Chunky Gal"
    Yeah, well; that headline could apply to any number of us; on a good day.

    I had to resort to finding a few online, I don't have any recent, local examples:

    "Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

    "War Dims Hope for Peace"

    "Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

    And my favorite:

    "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
    Last edited by JimC; 02-16-2018 at 07:59 PM. Reason: added headlines
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.

  8. #8
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    "Uber Eats driver sought in shooting death of customer" I'm not sure if this is incorrect or not, but I LMAO seeing this first thing in the morning.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...cid=spartandhp
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    "Uber Eats driver sought in shooting death of customer" I'm not sure if this is incorrect or not, but I LMAO seeing this first thing in the morning.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...cid=spartandhp
    I saw that too this morning.
    Last edited by cindyt; 02-19-2018 at 10:27 AM.

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