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Thread: Mae West

  1. #1
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    Talking Mae West

    Probably the most funniest woman ever!
    I love her quotes - she had soooooooooo many... here are 20 classics!

    So many men, so little time.

    It's not the men in my life; it's the life in my men.

    Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

    I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.

    Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

    I've been in more laps than a napkin.

    I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

    He who hesitates is a damned fool.

    She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

    I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

    Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

    When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.

    Once, during a trial in which she was accused of indecency on stage, the judge asked, "Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?"
    She answered, "On the contrary, your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it."

    I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better.

    I always say, keep a diary, and some day it'll keep you.

    It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don't break any.

    It's better to be looked over than overlooked.

    Maid (unpacking): Goodness, what nice jewelry.
    Mae West: "Goodness" had nothing to do with it, dearie.

    When I'm good, I'm good. When I'm bad, I'm very good.

    Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

  2. #2
    The "I've been rich and I've been poor" quote was first said by Sophie Tucker, not Mae. Easy to confuse them though. Like Mae, Sophie was rather zaftig and blowsy and not above delivering an off-color comment.

  3. #3
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    jokes are where you steal them-attributed to uncle milty

  4. #4
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    She was a fox! I read somewhere that shortly before her death in 1980, a fella' aproached this crazy looking old woman in hot pants with ill fitting dentures in the Ralph's in Beverly Hills...it was her!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]peek-a-boo!!

  5. #5
    Darrianne Guest
    Everytime I hear her name, I think of what I read about her using a rubber band under her chin, to give her a chin line..........

  6. #6
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    She had phone number listed in the phone book for years, and would take phone calls from fans every once in a while who would call her. My ex called and spoke to her once - and Mae got a kick out of her, since apparently they shared the same birthday.

  7. #7
    knothere Guest
    hmm wat that therory
    about after she died
    its a man posing as her

  8. 10-20-2007, 12:09 PM

  9. #8
    Bellfire Guest
    She was the person that first invented porn. (Look it up) She had a porn movie which was banned in the 1920's lol. Can you imagine that?

  10. #9
    RoRo Guest
    Sorry to say I found her kind of sad in her final years...she looked so bad

  11. #10
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    A Man In The House Is Worth Two In The Street

  12. #11
    poppie Guest

    Mae West

    Important person in early Hollywood. IMO, she was not a good actress, but she earned big bucks and invested that money very well. I think she falls into dirty old woman category - what do you all think?

  13. #12
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    Many have wondered through the years whether Mae was actually a fish or a sister. We also thought Mae might be a sister, what with the big hands and all. Also, the fact that nobody ever saw Mae naked and that Mae preferred to perform only 'oral love' on hot numbers. However, while examining a relatively close-up shot of Mae from Myra Breckenridge we observed those little deep lines that old fish - but not sisters - develop over the upper lip. Verdict: Mae was a fish.

  14. #13
    poppie Guest
    Fish? Sister? S'plain that to us, Lucy.

  15. #14
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    Yeah. I'm lost.

  16. #15
    MorbidMolly Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Catherine of Siena View Post
    Many have wondered through the years whether Mae was actually a fish or a sister. We also thought Mae might be a sister, what with the big hands and all. Also, the fact that nobody ever saw Mae naked and that Mae preferred to perform only 'oral love' on hot numbers. However, while examining a relatively close-up shot of Mae from Myra Breckenridge we observed those little deep lines that old fish - but not sisters - develop over the upper lip. Verdict: Mae was a fish.
    ....yeppers...I totally agree....

  17. 11-04-2007, 12:24 PM

  18. #16
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    THose that do not understand are obviously fish.

    Only sisters can understand what we refer to.

  19. #17
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    mae west was a woman(yes woman) before her time!!!! she was little but mighty, had shapely curves, was witty and wonderful, she didn't have to use blatant sex to qualify her sexuality. she flirted with her eyes! i would have loved to have met her. i couldn't believe her phone number was in the book! hehehe oh oh oh!
    pull the string!

  20. 11-04-2007, 12:49 PM

  21. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayneFan View Post
    The number in the phone book was actually to the switchboard in her building. It didn't go directly to Mae's phone, but she accepted calls from the switchboard.

    ahh ok! good people! (looks up, long lashed, ala mae) eeheheh
    Last edited by hell0kitty; 11-04-2007 at 12:58 PM.
    pull the string!

  22. #19
    poppie Guest
    OK - quoting the Cary Grant thread - fish is a lesbian? Did I get that right? "Those who do not understand are obviously fish." per Catherine of Siena.
    Last edited by poppie; 11-04-2007 at 04:32 PM. Reason: because

  23. #20
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    [SIZE=5]I pass............[/SIZE]

  24. #21
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    Mickey Hagerty use to be one of Mae's bodybuilder types in her show until Jayne stole him away.

  25. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppie View Post
    OK - quoting the Cary Grant thread - fish is a lesbian? Did I get that right? "Those who do not understand are obviously fish." per Catherine of Siena.
    Geez, I don't even want to say it...

    I guess I'm a salmon then - since some people can't use the right terms on here...

  26. #23
    Harry in Connecticut Guest
    She was on with Tom Snyder once. Nice to see her but it was strange.

    She had the blond wig, and the make up, and the glamorous outfit.

    But her voice was that of an old lady.

  27. #24
    Kathyf Guest
    I enjoyed watching her in the movie with Cary grant when she was on trial. I would like to know what those words mean too. Never heard of Fish or sister.

  28. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathyf View Post
    I'd liketo know what those words mean too. Never heard of Fish or sister.
    "Fish" is a insulting term for Lesbian. "Sister" is used as "friend" or lesbians sometimes refer to each other by that in a friendly way since we consider each other "family".

  29. #26
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    JOAN COLLINS tells an interesting anecdote about going to visit MAE WEST at her apartment in the early 1970s. COLLINS said that WEST was really creepy (at that point), extending a shriveled hand with long thick talon like nails; WEST said little, and occassionally would look over at COLLINS through one of her heavily hooded false eyelashed bird eyes. COLLINS said that MAE WEST was slightly hunched and appeared to look as though there was an internal person inside withering away beneath a crumbling carcas of make-up, old gowns, and hair pieces.

    I like the one though about WEST on the production set of her last film, the painfully bad [SIZE=3]SEXTETTE[/SIZE] which was released in 1978; Apparently MAE was losing her hearing. She was in her mid 80s afterall. Anyway, because of her hearing loss and the fact that her eyes were bad enough that she couldn't read a cue card unless it was right in front of her, they decided to read her the lines right beforehand into a mic that would go to a hearing aid she had concealed under her wig.The signal was based on frequency modulation and so, it would also pick up various other signals like those from the police dispatches. The story goes that during one of MAE'S lengthy double entendre laden script pages about sex when her next line was suppose to be something like "Ummm, ummm, so you're 5 foot 9 inches you tell me.....well, let's skip the 5 feet and talk about the 9 inches...." Unfortunately, an outgoing distress message for a 911 call center had a stronger signal so while trying to seduce RINGO STARR next or whoever the hell, MAE ended up saying ....."Ummm, there's a rape in progress at 9th Avenue and Cahuenga Blvd, 2nd floor....."

    There's always film critic PAULINE KAEL'S assessment of MAE:
    "A grotesque looking transvestite who's verbal attempts at moaning passion sound more like an individual simulating a bowel cramp........"


    I think that the old gal was pretty amazing myself. She was ahead of her time and gave some great fun performances. They say that MAE WEST' films kept [SIZE=3]P[/SIZE]aramount from going bankrupt in the mid 30s. Her shortcoming was that, like LUCILLE BALL, she didn't know when to call it quits.


    [SIZE=1]BELOW: SALVADOR DALI'S design of 'Living Salon' ala MAE WEST[/SIZE]



  30. #27
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    a "fish" is a str8 female.

    a "lesbyterian" (aka "dieseltruck" or "bulldozer") is a fish-lover and thus basically a man = good.

    a "sister" is a sausage lover who is not a fish.

  31. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catherine of Siena View Post
    a "fish" is a str8 female.

    a "lesbyterian" (aka "dieseltruck" or "bulldozer") is a fish-lover and thus basically a man = good.

    a "sister" is a sausage lover who is not a fish.
    Oh I'm sorry, I had thought people from France were a bit more cultured and had class...or maybe you are not really from there?

    I don't know where you get your Gay terms from. I hope you are just kidding around....

    Actually fish is also a deragatory term for a woman's vagina. I've never heard of a straight women being called a "fish"

    Lesbian are not "men" or called a "diesel truck". I work in the trucking industry - none of our trucks look like women - sorry!

    The last time I drove past a construction site, the bull dozers I saw out there moving dirt and stumps around - didn't look like women either.

    "Sister" is also a term for what Nuns are called.

    I kind of get the idea that you are a Gay man...what do you call yourselves? Or do you just save the snarky stuff for the women???
    Last edited by Aries65; 11-05-2007 at 06:42 AM.

  32. #29
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    "fish" does not in any way refer to a lesbyterian. Fish is only a str8 hetro female. A sister is a sausage lover who is neither a lesbyterian nor a fish, but who generally dislikes fish and loves lesbyterians. thus we are a sister.

  33. #30
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    p..s mae west hated all fish, except for her mother.

  34. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catherine of Siena View Post
    "fish" does not in any way refer to a lesbyterian. Fish is only a str8 hetro female. A sister is a sausage lover who is neither a lesbyterian nor a fish, but who generally dislikes fish and loves lesbyterians. thus we are a sister.
    Okkkaaayyy...maybe in your world....

  35. #32
    SinKittyVixen Guest

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Aries65 View Post
    Oh I'm sorry, I had thought people from France were a bit more cultured and had class...or maybe you are not really from there?

    I don't know where you get your Gay terms from. I hope you are just kidding around....

    Actually fish is also a deragatory term for a woman's vagina. I've never heard of a straight women being called a "fish"

    Lesbian are not "men" or called a "diesel truck". I work in the trucking industry - none of our trucks look like women - sorry!

    The last time I drove past a construction site, the bull dozers I saw out there moving dirt and stumps around - didn't look like women either.

    "Sister" is also a term for what Nuns are called.

    I kind of get the idea that you are a Gay man...what do you call yourselves? Or do you just save the snarky stuff for the women???

    Couldnt have said it better.

  36. #33
    leevancleef Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Catherine of Siena View Post
    "fish" does not in any way refer to a lesbyterian. Fish is only a str8 hetro female. A sister is a sausage lover who is neither a lesbyterian nor a fish, but who generally dislikes fish and loves lesbyterians. thus we are a sister.
    This is the first time i hear about those terms...

  37. #34
    leevancleef Guest
    Back to Mae, i have to say i wasnt too fond of her until i saw She done him wrong, i loved this movie! So damn funny!. i love the dialoge..and Mae's costumes! ive also seen My little Chikadee with WC Fields and to be honest, this one isnt worth watching.

  38. #35
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    Here's Mae at the age of 86 or so. The scene as originally written called for Mae to burst into tears upon being deserted by her new husband. When Mae saw the script she said: "Mae West doesn't cry over ANY man". And the scene was re-written as this:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CO52Fe1mKU&NR=1

  39. #36
    Bidmor Guest
    Pop quiz: Mae's famous "come up sometime" line...who did she say that to?

  40. #37
    Catherine of Siena Guest
    she said it to the homosexual cary grant - which would qualify as lesbianism, wouldn't it? (One sausage lover putting the moves on another sausage lover)

  41. #38
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    Oh Dear GOD, Catherine.... that clip will now haunt me for the rest of my days!!

    My favorite line: "Honey, I take a cab to a cab."


  42. #39
    Bidmor Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Catherine of Siena View Post
    she said it to the homosexual cary grant - which would qualify as lesbianism, wouldn't it? (One sausage lover putting the moves on another sausage lover)
    I thought Grant was a switch hitter.

  43. #40
    Lisamarie Guest
    she was awseom so before her time....

  44. #41
    mr.wanttohaveitall Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Aries65 View Post
    She had phone number listed in the phone book for years, and would take phone calls from fans every once in a while who would call her. My ex called and spoke to her once - and Mae got a kick out of her, since apparently they shared the same birthday.


    WOW...HOW COOL!

  45. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catherine of Siena View Post
    she said it to the homosexual cary grant - which would qualify as lesbianism, wouldn't it? (One sausage lover putting the moves on another sausage lover)
    I think we can all agree that maybe we should just be nice and use the proper terms here. I have never heard a lesbian being referred to as a "fish", and obviously am not the only one.

    Back to Mae, I do not know very much about her, but I loved the comments that were said by herposted in the beginning. She sounds like a strong-willed, beautiful woman. Not a "fish", not a "sausage" or whatever, just a woman. lol

  46. #43
    daisymom73 Guest
    Catherine, why do you refer to yourself as "we"?

  47. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by daisymom73 View Post
    Catherine, why do you refer to yourself as "we"?
    In all honesty, I think "Catherine" is a "he"...

  48. #45
    Gardner32 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Aries65 View Post
    In all honesty, I think "Catherine" is a "he"...

    Haha! Whatever he/she is, is rude! I don't usually get pissy about what people say on a forum, but this person seems genuinely rude.

  49. #46
    scootershort Guest
    First of all - Mae was really ahead of her time. She made only a hand full of movies, yet wisely invested her money and died a millionaire. She was really short, yet looked more than of average height - of course I am sure high heels had something to do with that.

    In regards to Catherine - it appears that some people have to put labels on everything/everyone. This is probably due to that fact that Catherine is not comfortable with a label that he/she may fall under. Labels are nothing, usually only used when people cannot fully express a thought.

  50. #47
    imogene schlogenwockle Guest
    In the last years of her life, Mae West made the comment that when she died, a secret would be revealed that would shock the world. I don't remember any secret coming out when she died. I have written Walter Scott, the self-absorbed entertainment answer queen of Parade magazine, several times asking him if he knew what the secret was but he has not answered.
    I did some online research and it said she read a lot and that was a bit of a secret. Surely that wasn't it. Does anyone know?

  51. #48
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    don't remember her in her difficult old age, the gal had mega balls, and was the supreme movie star. she believed in herself, was inspirational in introducing the use of 'sex' in the movies way back when! she had moxxy, humour, and she was lovely to look at in her heyday. i wish i could have met her====
    pull the string!

  52. #49
    A-train Guest

    Mae West

    So I don't know hardly anything about her, but she seems interesting. I had no idea she was nearly illiterate? Interesting. And what's with the story that she really passed away in the 50's and her brother took over her identity? Read that at the bottom of the story scott wrote about her. Check out how great she looks in this interview in her 70's, like wow!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NZePWVaWy0

  53. #50
    RocketQueen Guest
    She is my favorite actress. I think she was so beautiful. I never knew she was illiterate. I wonder how she learned her lines? Most have had a great memory.
    Last edited by RocketQueen; 05-16-2008 at 01:19 PM.

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