Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 51 to 100 of 205

Thread: Darwin Awards

  1. #51
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Tulsa, OK.
    Posts
    4,807
    Quote Originally Posted by rickenbacker View Post
    Charcoal BBQs in the bathroom, I believe. Carbon Monoxide. What a way to go...
    Bathroom food?? EWWWWW
    Death Hags Unite

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    MA (Noth Shoh)
    Posts
    1,053

    First-hand account of a Darwin Award candidate...

    ...and another example of When Idiots Prevail

    We were talking at work today about the pitfalls of owning rental property, and one co-worker was relating the trials and tribulations of a friend of his, who always had bad luck with tenants.

    There was one couple in particular who were always drunk, were always entertaining drunken friends, and never paid their rent. After successfully going through the proper legal channels to get them evicted, moving day arrives. So couple celebrates the move by...you guessed it...getting drunk with their drunken friends. So drunk husband decides to get the couch out of the appartment by tying one end of a rope to the couch, the other end of the rope to his waist, and lowering it from 3rd floor balcony. Naturally, couch goes over, drunk husband goes over, crashes through the first floor porch, and head hits pavement. End of drunk husband.

    So not only does the landlord have to have balcony and porch rebuilt (according to really strict specifications imposed by the city) but....wait for it... drunk wife sues landlord and wins a million dollar settlement.

    True story. Swear.

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    334
    Do you know where this happened? Seems like we're missing something.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Connecticut, You know home of ESPN
    Posts
    9,266
    At least it wasn't a piano... wait maybe it would be more funny if it was


    "I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archaeologist will have one awesome day at work."

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    334
    haha, if he tied himself to a piano and then tried to lower it...that would be kind of funny! At least with the couch, he could imagine himself slowly floating down and landing on it all comfy.

    (Still hoping for a link to the story.)

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    MA (Noth Shoh)
    Posts
    1,053
    Quote Originally Posted by Orleans View Post
    Do you know where this happened? Seems like we're missing something.
    Everett MA, early '90s. Don't know if it was ever actually "in the news." I'll look it up, but being that it happened in the pre-internet era, I don't know if there would be anything online.

    Quote Originally Posted by Miho View Post
    At least it wasn't a piano... wait maybe it would be more funny if it was
    That just made me think of Who Framed Roger Rabbit...Eddie Valiant's brother died when a Toon dropped a piano on his head.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    1,532
    that's lame as hell. All I'm going to say.
    Don't let them push you around, for every bruise they give, give them five broken bones

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    334
    Quote Originally Posted by TheNotherOne View Post
    Everett MA, early '90s. Don't know if it was ever actually "in the news." I'll look it up, but being that it happened in the pre-internet era, I don't know if there would be anything online.
    Thanks. I wasn't doubting your story, just wanted to read more about it.

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    So. California
    Posts
    1,886
    you mean he didn't land on the couch? boy he must have been pretty drunk

    Seriously though, the sad part to all this is that the wife won the law suit! WTF?!

  10. #60
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    MA (Noth Shoh)
    Posts
    1,053
    Quote Originally Posted by Orleans View Post
    Thanks. I wasn't doubting your story, just wanted to read more about it.
    Don't worry, I actually wouldn't have been suprised (or offended) if anyone doubted the story. It does come from a reliable source. It be true.

    Isn't it funny how the 'Net has changed the whole idea of what's news? Back in the day a lot of weird, crazy stuff was happening but wasn't necessarily reported...all you had was the daily paper, the 6pm and 11pm news. Limited time; limited space. Now, you've got news sites, blog sites, etc., etc., that must be updated every five minutes to remain relevant...so everything becomes news.

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    4,053
    Was his name Curly, Larry or Moe by chance?

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Nunya Bidness
    Posts
    10,843
    Oh God the JATO guy! That is AWESOME!!
    The most dangerous woman of all is the one who refuses to rely on your sword to save her because she carries her own.

    - R.H. Sin

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,498

    Man drowns trying to save $2 swim noodle

    Yes, folks, it's that time of year again... Welcome to another exciting, stupendous ceremony honoring this year's DARWIN AWARDS.
    First up for your consideration, a husband, father (and I assume, son and brother), who gave his all to save a cheap flotation device...

    http://newtown.patch.com/articles/ne...ake-lillinonah

    by Aaron Boyd

    A relaxing day on Lake Lillinonah turned into a nightmare for two families from Sandy Hook Monday, after friend, father and husband William Donovan disappeared while chasing after a flotation noodle in Barkwood Falls Cove, friends said.

    Donovan, his wife, their daughter and two other families were on a boat anchored off of Cove Road in Brookfield at 2:30 p.m., Monday, when Donovan spotted a flotation noodle drifting away and jumped in to chase after it, said his friend and the boat's owner, Mark Streck, who was on the vessel with his own family as well as that of Donovan's brother-in-law.

    Donovan entered the water fine, according to Streck, who saw him swimming after the noodle, feet away. Streck said that he turned his attention back to the kids for a moment and when he looked back, Donovan was gone. "Everyone was swimming around with their vests on, trying to pet the ducks," Streck said, piecing the minutes back together at his home the next day. "I turned back and Billy was gone," he said, adding later that the noodle was still floating where it had been.

    The families immediately began a frantic search and were aided by a nearby boat and then a passing kayaker, as well, but to no avail.
    Brookfield emergency responders and the Lake Lillinonah Authority patrol boat were on the scene quickly and began the search, assisted by the Newtown Underwater Search and Rescue (NUSAR) SCUBA team, who arrived on scene shortly after 3 p.m., and the Bridgewater Volunteer Fire Department.
    Underwater teams from Brookfield and Newtown scoured the cove for two hours, but were unable to locate Donovan. The water was murky and the area was weedy and featured a stumpy bottom, according to NUSAR officials, which made the search difficult for the dive teams.

    State Police arrived on scene after 5 p.m. with a side-scan sonar equipped boat and were able to find Donovan's body at 7:20 p.m., approximately 70 feet from the shoreline, in a water depth of about eight to 10 feet, according to Brookfield Police.

    Donovan was in excellent physical condition, according to Streck, a longtime friend and neighbor of Donovan's, who would frequent the gym with him. Donovan jogged regularly, Streck said, and had not consumed any alcohol that day. Streck also pointed out that Donovan was a strong swimmer whose parents owned a house on Lake Lillinonah when he was a kid.
    "Literally, he was right there," Streck said, pointing a few yards out into the street, still perplexed by the sudden tragedy, "It couldn't have been more than a few minutes."

    The medical examiner's report is expected Wednesday afternoon (July 7). The Donovan family declined to comment at this time.
    Last edited by Linnie; 07-08-2010 at 10:49 PM.

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,498
    http://newtown.patch.com/articles/me...ok-man-drowned

    by Aaron Boyd

    The 37-year-old Sandy Hook man whose body was found on Monday by state police in Lake Lillinonah drowned, according to the medical examiner.
    William Donovan, 37, disappeared suddenly while swimming after a flotation noodle at about 2:30 p.m. near the boat of friend and neighbor Mark Streck.
    Donovan died from asphyxia of the lungs due to drowning, the medical examiner ruled Wednesday. There were no abrasions that would signify he was struck and nothing in autopsy suggested the incident was anything other than an accident, the medical examiner said.

    Donovan, his family, his brother-in-law and his children and Streck and his family were enjoying the afternoon in Barkwood Falls Cove in Brookfield when Donovan jumped into the water to chase after a flotation toy that was drifting away, friends said. While no one was looking, he disappeared below the surface of the water.

    Brookfield rescue teams and Newtown dive teams scanned the lake floor looking for Donovan while Lake Lillinonah Authority, Bridgewater and Candlewood Fire Company patrol boats assisted from the surface.
    At approximately 5 p.m., State Police arrived on the scene with a side-scan sonar device and were able to locate the body at 7:20 p.m. The body was discovered 70 feet from the shore, in eight to 10 feet of water, according to Brookfield Police.

    Donovan was physically healthy, exercised regularly, was a good swimmer and had not had any alcohol that day, friends said.

  15. #65
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    Too late! He passed on his gene pool already.
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  16. #66
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Who Really Cares
    Posts
    2,025
    another example of irony
    A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the
    road. H.W. Beecher

  17. #67
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,307
    Oh Geez

  18. #68
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    On this forum, obviously!
    Posts
    4,259
    I'm not gonna vote for this one. Lord only knows what happened to him, but I probably would have swam out to get the noodle/float/ball/whatever as well. It seemed an easy swim and if he was a good swimmer and not drinking...this just seems to me to be more of a freak accident.
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  19. #69
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,447
    i laffed. sry.

  20. #70
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    HUEYTOWN,ALABAMA
    Posts
    3,384
    damn that noodle

    Mommies little clones. Est since 2004!

  21. #71
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    2,450
    got-damn noodles

  22. #72
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    533
    All for a stupid noodle?

  23. #73
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    489
    Hell, no. I wouldn't jump in the water for the most expensive thing I own.

  24. #74
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    Idiot
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  25. #75
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    bluegrass state
    Posts
    2,768
    There is a yellow one laying by the interstate near our house. If you hear about a Kentucky broad being run down while trying to get a free swimming noodle, that would be me.

  26. #76
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,498
    Lake Lillinonah is a man-made lake with a maximum depth of 110 feet, according to its website, and is part of a RIVER (there are several deep dammed lakes on the Housatonic, including Lake Zoar), where, I imagine, there are undertows. NOT a nice placid little pond, or a place where one should take unnecessary risk.
    You risk your life to save a CHILD, not his/her toy.
    People were wearing life vests just to check out the ducks. Chap may not have been drunk, but he was overconfident just the same.

  27. #77
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    745
    *sigh* died for that dang noodle? what a waste.

  28. #78
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    7,844
    I have never heard of a swim noodle-but I agree with Sarah-it was a waste

  29. #79
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    .
    Last edited by neilmpenny; 07-10-2010 at 07:03 PM. Reason: Poor taste (even for me)
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  30. #80
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    HUEYTOWN,ALABAMA
    Posts
    3,384
    i think these things are so damn gay,


    look at me i got a Styrofoam noodle, aren't i just a fucking doofus

    Mommies little clones. Est since 2004!

  31. #81
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    antioch, Ca Aka Satan's armpit
    Posts
    1,265
    I need closure! was the noodle recovered or what? Will they present it to the widow at the funeral?
    Are you a badfish too?

  32. #82
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    So. California
    Posts
    1,886
    Quote Originally Posted by *sarah* View Post
    *sigh* died for that dang noodle? what a waste.
    The saddest part is he didn't even get the noodle! Definate Darwin Canidate.

  33. #83
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    441
    That's the most stupid thing to go after and end up drowning!

  34. #84
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    On this forum, obviously!
    Posts
    4,259
    What do you do with noodles anyway? I've seen kids hit eat other with them. And down here in Deliverance, folks cut them up and use them to hold their trot lines. That's it.
    For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

  35. #85
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    HUEYTOWN,ALABAMA
    Posts
    3,384
    if there is a hole in the end im sure, some boys or lonely men has learned to use it
    I never got one, i know people went nuts when they first came out, and im was like wtf is that going to do lol

    Mommies little clones. Est since 2004!

  36. #86
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    29
    Quote Originally Posted by SheBoss View Post
    What do you do with noodles anyway? I've seen kids hit eat other with them. And down here in Deliverance, folks cut them up and use them to hold their trot lines. That's it.
    As a certified carseat tech, I can tell you that the use of 1-3 shortened noodles (taped in a bundle if necessary) is approved to act as a prop in achieving the proper recline angle of a rear-facing carseat. Us techs stock up on them during the summer to last year round. I've been asked why I have pool noodles in my van when we don't have a pool.

  37. #87
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    774
    I haven't looked at the Darwin page lately , but surely that couple who just took a shag on the railway tracks must make it on there ? She died, he lost his legs .He said they were so overcome with passion , the added excitement of doing it on a train track overcame them .I wonder who came first ?!

  38. #88
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    5,828
    Quote Originally Posted by artymorty View Post
    I haven't looked at the Darwin page lately , but surely that couple who just took a shag on the railway tracks must make it on there ? She died, he lost his legs .He said they were so overcome with passion , the added excitement of doing it on a train track overcame them .I wonder who came first ?!
    Probably the train.
    A faulty hypothesis forming:
    A German scientist using Iranian physics and French mathematics.

  39. #89
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    22,477
    Haaaaaa Jim, that's what I was gonna say too.
    .

    Life goes on.

  40. #90
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Geelong, Australia
    Posts
    18,395
    Quote Originally Posted by SheBoss View Post
    What do you do with noodles anyway? I've seen kids hit eat other with them. And down here in Deliverance, folks cut them up and use them to hold their trot lines. That's it.
    Make them squeal like a pig?
    I am a sick puppy....woof woof!!!

    Carping the living shit out of the Diem. - Me!!
    http://www.pinterest.com/neilmpenny

  41. #91
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,670
    Those motorcycle jerks in NYC last week.
    If anyone should die for a Darwin Award.

    It should be one of them.
    Carolyn(1958-2009) always in my heart.

  42. #92
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    120
    Quote Originally Posted by theotherlondon View Post
    Those motorcycle jerks in NYC last week.
    If anyone should die for a Darwin Award.

    It should be one of them.
    I second that.

  43. #93
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    18,938
    Kentucky had a major ice storm in 2009 that basically crippled the central part of the state. We didn't have electricity at home for five days and we were the lucky ones. People were buying every available generator in a five county radius. There was a local woman who was worried that someone would steal her generator, which is understandable, so she kept it running indoors. Using gas powered generators indoors isn't too brilliant of an idea and she died from it. Darwin indeed.

  44. #94
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,932
    Ugh! That damn storm was killer! I think that's when we got our generator. Every damn year when the first snow falls people lose their minds and act like they have never before driven a car. Hate the winter. Fall all year please.

  45. #95
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    18,938
    Quote Originally Posted by RiotBoots View Post
    Ugh! That damn storm was killer! I think that's when we got our generator. Every damn year when the first snow falls people lose their minds and act like they have never before driven a car. Hate the winter. Fall all year please.
    I would love Fall weather all year long. I was on FAD (imagine that) reading about Joan Crawford when the electricity went out. Businesses that sold generators were price gouging the hell out of people. The majority of people around here can't drive worth a shit no matter what condition the roads are in.

  46. #96
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    22,477
    Same here. Last year a friend of mine had his generator stolen by a guy who rented his house. The guy moved across town and now everyone including my friend knows where he lives. A real genius, that one. The thief also has warrants out for his arrest. And not penny ante stuff from what I understand. And my friend who owns the house still gets the guy's mail. All from courts. So occasionally my friend will call the cops or whichever court is looking for the guy and let them know his new address. My friend is also a 78 year-old man so there will be none of the usual ass kicking that goes on around here due to stuff like this. He just keeps getting" magically" picked up by the cops constantly, hahaha. Only a child molester is a lower form of life than a generator thief around here.
    .

    Life goes on.

  47. #97
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Newburgh Indiana
    Posts
    6,861
    well, we almost had one tonight at work. I was ready to get pics too. A dumb ass I work with jumped in the TRASH COMPACTOR after a shovel! Some people truly are too stupid to live.
    ​"I wish I could just hug you all, but I'm not gonna."

    ~Layne Staley


  48. #98
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Goettingen, Germany
    Posts
    4,597
    A study just published in the British Medical Journal reveals that 85% percent of "death-by-stupidity" cases involve men.

    It was based on an analysis of more than 300 stupid death cases recorded by the Darwin Awards over the past two decades.

    My personal favorite:

    a terrorist sent a package containing a bomb by post, but when his package was returned for inadequate postage, he opened it.

    http://www.wallstreetotc.com/most-de...-shows/213311/



    You be careful out among them English.
    Don't mess with the banjo player - he's hard core, dude!
    Catch my music on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9ve...aaqUrXEEcb50Y2
    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009366909869

  49. #99
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Natchez Ms
    Posts
    3,981
    Dump terrorists.... gotta love em.
    I am the king of all things stupid!

    "Nobody goes laundry cart on my wash unless them bitches wanna be going feet first."
    Cloris Leachman.

  50. #100
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    toronto, canada ( Etobicoke)
    Posts
    4,148
    Two nominees:

    Maine man dies instantly after trying to launch firework from top of his head:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015...?utm_hp_ref=uk

    Texas man killed by alligator seconds after leaping into water screaming 'fuck that alligator'

    http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015...ef=mostpopular

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •