Worst/Funniest Spam

[Bring_Out_Yer_Dead]

My personal favorite goes to the following:
Nasty DogFart Sluts
I mean being a DogFart Slut is bad enough,
but being considered nasty by the other
DogFart Sluts has got to hurt!

Cheers all,
Doug

[Danny62]

Oops my bad!

I thought those were recent Threads on the "everything else" section!!

[Bring_Out_Yer_Dead]

Hey Danny,
Tis ok...Seems my thread starters die a worse death than
some of the famous people we talk about here....

Cheers,
Doug

Oops my bad!

I thought those were recent Threads on the "everything else" section!!

[Danny62]

I think it was a great thread...

Must be the spam filters!!!

[Bayou Voodoo]

I occasionally peruse my SPAM folders in my various emails before deleting them, just in case a real email got sent to the wrong place. I noticed a spate of funny subjects in tonight's batch in one of my gmail accounts...here are a couple of samples:


Become her megadriller!

Women will beg you to walk naked and shake it!

Postpone your love bomb's explode...

Let your zip feel tension!

Forge your huge love sword

Your woman will like your hose

And there are plenty more. lol

What are some of your most memorable/amusing SPAM titles/subjects?

[jenna_VonDoom]

When your this big they call you mister

That's from a penis enlargement email. I thought that was hilarious

[Impatience]

I just got this in my email, and quite frankly, it makes me angry. First of all, Eid is NOT their equivalent of Christmas for us. It's the ending of Ramadan which marks a time in their religion spiritual self exploration and being thankful and remembering the things in their lives that they have to be thankful for.... lots of prayes and the whole bit. Durning this time Muslims fast and only have "breakfast" at sunrise & "dinner" after the sunsets focusing on a very simplistic and back to basics way of living. Eid is the festival ending that spiritual time for Muslims. That's the most simplistic way I know to explain. Second... if I ever walk into a post office and say that I do not want a "muslim stamp on my letters" I fully expect my mom to pop out from behind the counter and beat my ass -- I was taught tolerance above all. Not to mention, there are millions of muslims all over the world that had nothing to do with terroristic attacks.



USPS New Stamp!!! Celebrates Muslim holiday.

If there is only ONE thing you forward today.... let it be this!

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of Pan Am Flight 103!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine Barracks in Lebanon !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military Barracks in Saudi Arabia !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in Africa !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on 9/11/2001 !
REMEMBER all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks!

Now President Obama has directed the United States Postal Service to REMEMBER and HONOR the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a new commemorative First Class Holiday Postage Stamp..
REMEMBER to adamantly & vocally BOYCOTT this stamp, when you are purchasing your stamps at the post office.
All you have to say is "No thank you, I do not want that Muslim Stamp on my letters!"
To use this stamp would be a slap in the face to all those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those whom this stamp honors.
REMEMBER ~ pass this along to every Patriotic AMERICAN that you know and lets get the word out !!!
Here is something to chew on...

They (MUSLIMS) don't even believe in Christ, & they're getting their own Christmas stamp! BUT, don't dare to dream of posting the ten commandments on federal property! This is truly UNBELIEVABLE !!!

[ChargerBill]

REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of Pan Am Flight 103!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine Barracks in Lebanon !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the military Barracks in Saudi Arabia !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in Africa !
REMEMBER the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!
REMEMBER the MUSLIM attack on 9/11/2001 !
REMEMBER all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those vicious MUSLIM attacks!

[rickenbacker]

I wish I had saved some of my German pr0n spam. I used to get it in my yahoo accounts. I would copy it over to babelfish to translate, and it was a hoot! Ended up sounding a lot like "Engrish".

[okidoll]

FELICITATION!!FELICITATION!!FELICITATION!! ....all in big giant letters...

Make Yo;ur fat fr+iend,s envy you

Give wang full strength flow.

you*r expected x'mas gift will be your i+ncrease+d PE!

You will be the young stud with her! super solution with no...... (just dropped off like that)

GROW INTO A REAL LOVE OF GIANT

Always right angle of manhood

Hoisters for your pork-lever....

[tamiele]

In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Want it Monday, Jan. 13? Order within 29 hrs 43 mins and choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details

• One 5-pound bag containing approximately 1080 pieces
• Fat-free and sugar-free; sweetened with Lycasin
• Five real fruit flavors
• Jewel-like sparkling clear colors
• An international favorite
• This product is a sugarless/sugarfree item with ingredients that can cause intestinal distress if eaten in excess

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000EVQWKC/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

FYI - please read the reviews before purchase.

[Jason]

Yeah, saw this on Facebook (shared by none other than George Takei)... funny reviews, the product sounds awful.

[choff]

Ah Spam....

For the longest time I used to get all of this stupid spam for "Fuckbook" ( yes the adult version of Facebook ). Actually I think Fuckbook some time ago had found themselves in hot water over the constant spamming even to those who never visit porn sites, even a visit to a dating site that doesn't allow porn such as E-Harmony many folks reported getting spam from Fuckbook.

I have also received a ton of stuff about the Duck Dynasty/Phil Robertson thing...here is just a sample...

"Should Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty be fired ??"

"Don't let Phil Robertson lose his right to free speech..click here !!" ( Exactly how did the government take away his right to free speech ?? )

"Don't let A&E censor the truth on Duck Dynasty" (ah A&E isn't controlled by the government..they can do what they want )

and a banner ad showing the cast of Duck Dynasty with the words "gay men and women won't like it" ( I didn't bother checking that one out )

[cindyt]

I get male enhancement email in my yahoo spam folder. I'd block 'em but they would just keep coming back in other addys, like weeds.

[McCourt]

I've probably received about 100 of these emails telling me if I would only give these people in Africa my full name, email address, social security number and my bank account information they could give me the $65 million US funds that they're holding for me and I only have to pay a small processing fee. The one I got today, I must say, cuts out any of the trying to sound legit and just goes straight for the info and I need to rush because they're trying to prevent "hackers" from taking my money. This time must be legit because it comes from a Reverand:

REV.FAVOR CHINENYE ATTN BENEFICIARY, Congratulation,You have won yourself us$2,500,000.00 from our database for using western union money transfer. I?m very glade in informing today that all necessary arrangement in eff

Jun 23 at 2:55 PM
[SIZE=2]ATTN BENEFICIARY,

Congratulation,You have won yourself us$2,500,000.00 from our database for
using western union money transfer. I?m very glade in informing today that
all necessary arrangement in effecting the payment to you as it have been
programmed $3,500.00,USD in your payment file.All you need to do now:
Reconfirm your information to enable us make change of the RECEIVER'S NAME to your name,so you can be
able to pick it up now.

Your Name:===========
Your Country:========
Your Tel:============

However: this is to inform you that we have been carrying on your payment
as to enable us make sure that the payment have be complete before the
year will come at the end.Your first payment of $3,500.00, USD is already been
Programmed into System.Below is the information of today track it in
our(westernunion.com/asp/orderstatus.asp?country=global) to see is available to pick up by the
Receiver, I need to hear from you to make the change for security reason to avoid hackers stealing the money online.

{MTCN}Control Number:521877xxxx
SENDERS FIRST NAME:JUDDY
SENDERS LAST NAME: SPEAR
SENDERS COUNTRY..SAO-TOME&PRINCIPE
CITY: SAO-TOME
TEXT QUESTION: What Color
ANSWER: Green
AMOUNT: $3,500

Waiting for your information to make change of RECEIVER'S NAME to your name and release your MTCN to enable you pick up the fund.

Yours,
REV.FAVOR CHINENYE
WESTERN UNION DIRECTOR
UNDER DIAMOND BANK
Email:western.union01@mynet.com
[/SIZE]








SHOULD I GO AHEAD AND TRUST THEM? lol

[cindyt]

Let me count em. Sex toys, Asian girls, Vigara, life insurance for my child, and that's just the tippy tip of the iceberg.

[McCourt]

Let me count em. Sex toys, Asian girls, Vigara, life insurance for my child, and that's just the tippy tip of the iceberg.

Its so ridiculous yet every single day people fall for these things. There was a lady on Dr. Phil (yes I hate him too) who has sent about a million and a half dollars to some guy whom she claims to love and he "loves her too." Yep, right lady. He loves her. She looks like Shrek.

[SomeChick]

You've won a $500 Kroger gift card! Just give us all your personal information and we'll email it right to you! (sic).

Yeah, I'll get right on that when monkeys start flying out of my ass.

[JimC]

I got a couple a while back claiming to be from the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

He (if it really was him) stated on very official looking email letterhead that if I didn't respond immediately a warrant would be issued for my arrest.

SC - sorry to hear that you might be having a problem with monkeys escaping from your ass.

Just remember the old saying, "If you love something, let it go..."

If it comes back to you and tries to crawl up your ass; well; I just really don't know what I'd think about that.

[McCourt]

Jim, I got one from Homeland Security, which I thought was odd since the telephone area code was basically non existent in the United States. LOL I think they need to find a desperate American and pay him/her to proofread their spam.

[JimC]

LOL!

Well; now I know how to reply the next time I get one of those.

I can be a spelling and grammar Nazi with the best of them.

[JimC]

Yeah, I'll get right on that when monkeys start flying out of my ass.

I've been real concerned about this situation with your ass monkeys. I really believe that this can't be a symbiotic relationship but a parasitic one; which naturally led me to Google "Ass Parasites" - as you do - and boy does that ever turn up some interesting information.

Try this - if you let the monkeys go; they fly out of your ass and then return; try rubbing olive oil on a clove of garlic; puncture it with a fork (prior to the next step) and then insert it; uhhh; you know; leaving it in for a while. After your next shower; repeat the process until the flying ass monkeys move on.

Now if you have Italian flying ass monkeys; then I'm afraid you're going to need more help than I can offer. Maybe Google "Italian Ass Parasites"; I'll try it later when I have some time and get back to you.

[SomeChick]

Thanks Jim. I'll send you a wire transfer for that information immediately. It'll be in pesos which can easily be converted to US dollars without having to go to a MoneyGram (R, C, TM, etc., ad infinitum) location, simply by sending back double the amount I sent you, wherein I will send back triple that amount in US dollars! Offer null and void if you are arrested by the FBI.

[Cynful]

Its so ridiculous yet every single day people fall for these things. There was a lady on Dr. Phil (yes I hate him too) who has sent about a million and a half dollars to some guy whom she claims to love and he "loves her too." Yep, right lady. He loves her. She looks like Shrek.

OMG McCourt... I saw that one too. Wow... you sure can't fix stupid can you???

[McCourt]

Here is one I just got today:

Carter Michael To Recipients



Today at 9:01 AM
I am serving in the US military in Afghanistan with the army infantry division, I have some amount of funds that I want to move out of the country, e-mail me at mc1471961@gmail.com for more details. Thanks and best Regards

[duchessmary]

"Oprah lied! Ellen lied!" Groan.

[JimC]

Thanks Jim. I'll send you a wire transfer for that information immediately. It'll be in pesos which can easily be converted to US dollars without having to go to a MoneyGram (R, C, TM, etc., ad infinitum) location, simply by sending back double the amount I sent you, wherein I will send back triple that amount in US dollars! Offer null and void if you are arrested by the FBI.

That's perfect, SC.

Will you take that double money back deal in Kroger gift cards?

That would be really swell.

[cindyt]

Cindy, your contacts are ready!
Cindy, it's called marriage now.

M'kay.

[McCourt]

This phone scam may actually be happening, so its worth a quick read:


This scam is being reported by Tech Crunch and we wanted to make our readers aware of it.
The scam, simplified: They call you, but immediately hang up. You see a missed call. You call back. They charge you for the call, and for each minute they can keep you on the line.
According to the BBB, this so-called “One Ring” scam is on the rise


The trick? They only let the call ring once before it automatically hangs up. One ring is enough for the number to show up on your missed call screen, but just short enough that you’re not likely to answer it in time (which keeps the call from fully connecting and thus keeps the scammer from having to front for any long distance fees


Read more at http://joeforamerica.com/2014/02/psa...ll-phone-scam/

[cindyt]

Please trim it down to two paragraphs and a link to comply with Rule 7.

[JimC]

Got this one today...

Dear Beneficiary,
This is to officially inform you that we have written to you before without getting respond from you and we believe that our previous mail did not get to you therefore we write you again. We are contacting you concerning the release of your inheritance fund / Draft /Cheque /ATM Card which have been delayed for transfer by some officials who claim to be in position of your fund thereby extorting money from you in one way or the other.
Your Fund has finally been approved for transfer by the West Africa Fund Monitoring Unit. Your fund will be transfer to you via MasterCard ATM which is cashable in any ATM machine or Bank anywhere in the world.
We hereby inform you that the ATM card worth US$8.5, 000.000.00 has been credited in your favour as the first part payment of your inheritance fund which has been delayed by these officers who claim to be in position of your fund.
Therefore you are warned to stop any further communication with anybody concerning your inheritance fund.
Your fund to be released via MasterCard ATM in act to uphold the rule of law which we represent.You have to reconfirm the informations below for security reasons. The only money you are obliged to pay is the delivery charges only .
Contact the verification officer incharge of the delivery:
Name: Mr. Jonathan David
E-mail: card16.atm@yandex.com
Telephone +2348034121432
Send them the following informations of yours for the conclusion of your ATM Card:
Full Name:__________
Delivery Address:____
Country:_______
Occupation:_____
Phone Number:____
Age:______
sex:______
Regards,
Mr. Jonathan David

[cindyt]

XXX Sex

[McCourt]

Edited Cindy. Sorry about that!!

[cindyt]

Edited Cindy. Sorry about that!!

[McCourt]

Dear Esteemed Customer,
Your immediate over invoice,contract Inheritance payment with contract file number #/FGN/PTF/407/2014)# MAV/NNPC/FNG? Valued for USD25.5 Million has been released today Reply immediately for more details with your 1.Full Name 2.Residential Address 3.Age 4.Occupation 5. Direct Telephone Numbers for bank transfer include your bank details as soon as you receive this email Your immediate respond is urgently Needed Reply to info.centbank.pay25.5million2u@gmail.com

Best Regards
Mr. Godwin Emefiele
Governor Central Bank

[McCourt]

Barr.Philip Micheal Attn: I have been trying to reach you on your telephone about an hour now Contact your DHL delivery agent he just arived at Atlantic City New Jersey Air port with your ATM Visa card contain $3.5Millio To



Today at 2:52 AM
Attn:
I have been trying to reach you on your telephone
about an hour now Contact your DHL delivery agent
he just arived at Atlantic City New Jersey Air
port with your ATM Visa card contain $3.5Milliom so
recomfirm your address he misplace your address


(1)Your Full Name.
(2)Mobile Phone Number.
(3)Current Home Address
(4)Nearest Airport
so that he can deliver your ATM visa card
as soon as possible
his name is MR Richard
Phone Number.(862 234 7338 )
Regards BARR.PHILIP MICHEAL
Call(+22998236033)

[McCourt]

This is to notify you that your fund has been approved to be released to via EH NATIONAL BANK TRANSFER.
Kindly reconfirm this application put in by Mrs. Claire Hall, she submitted the under listed bank account information supposedly sent by you to receive your EH NATIONAL BANK online access created to transfer /receive the funds on your behalf.

The bank information she applied with are stated thus:

Bank Name: Citi Bank
Account Name: Claire Hall
Account Number: 116502809339
Routing Number: 2779210


We wish to verify from you if this woman was authorized by you to receive your online access and transfer your funds on your behalf, to ensure that the paying bank will not be held responsible for paying into the wrong hands/account.
The committee on overdue transfer funds has approved EH NATIONAL BANK through the international remittance/foreign operations to transfer all overdue funds this quarter of the year.
However, if we do not receive any formal reconfirmation from you, it automatically means that she was actually sent by you to receive the said funds valued $3.8Millon.
Hence, you are hereby requested to reply this mail immediately for confirmation before we proceed with this payment and for us to know the true position of things with you so that we won't make any misstates/errors in remitting your outstanding funds to wrong person/account.
Lastly, you are advice to reconfirm the details of this message and get back immediately with these information's below so as to enable us cross check with the one we have to ensure no mistake in process of transfer.

Full Name:
Address:
Age:
Occupation:
Country:

Note: This information's must be provided for reconfirmation to enable us make payment to you, hence, your funds will be remit/wire into her account.

Best regards,
Mrs. Joan Weimer

[cindyt]

A Bang With a Sexy Stranger.

[JimC]

Hey Cindy -

I'll trade you six undisclosed millions for one bang with a sexy stranger...

This is to inform you that I have 1 box worth Undisclosed millions of Dollars in a consignment,Presently the Consignment Is In a Safe Deposit Company In the US.I want to present you as my foreign partner that will receive the consignment on my behalf since I am not a US citizen. I seek your partnership to claim the Consignment.
As a non Citizen with out a work permit I'll not be allowed to work or invest in the Country. Please I want you to be my foreign partner that will receive the Consignment for me, you will be well rewarded with 30% of the Total funds, why you will invest my share in your Country.
Upon receiving my email, give me full details about yourself so I can get the power of attorney that will make you receive the consignment as my foreign partner legally. you will need to fly to take the consignment in Georgia US, all legal documents are with me and this transaction is legal and 100% risk free.
Note: Forward to me the below information.
Your Full name and Address
Age, sex and occupation
Nationality and Passport Number or ID number
Please, I really need your assistance to finalize this deal. Note that I am contacting you base on my impatient to get someone I really can trust and willing to assist me with this transaction. This transaction is 100% risk free and confidential.The young Rev that help me secure the safety of the consignment is a missionary worker In the US. You will be well attended to when you want to claim the Consignment, you'll be meeting with someone face to face, for your safety and transparency.CONTACT sr.jhuntsman1@foxmail.com
Regards
Jon

[cindyt]

Hey Cindy -

I'll trade you six undisclosed millions for one bang with a sexy stranger...

This is to inform you that I have 1 box worth Undisclosed millions of Dollars in a consignment,Presently the Consignment Is In a Safe Deposit Company In the US.I want to present you as my foreign partner that will receive the consignment on my behalf since I am not a US citizen. I seek your partnership to claim the Consignment.
As a non Citizen with out a work permit I'll not be allowed to work or invest in the Country. Please I want you to be my foreign partner that will receive the Consignment for me, you will be well rewarded with 30% of the Total funds, why you will invest my share in your Country.
Upon receiving my email, give me full details about yourself so I can get the power of attorney that will make you receive the consignment as my foreign partner legally. you will need to fly to take the consignment in Georgia US, all legal documents are with me and this transaction is legal and 100% risk free.
Note: Forward to me the below information.
Your Full name and Address
Age, sex and occupation
Nationality and Passport Number or ID number
Please, I really need your assistance to finalize this deal. Note that I am contacting you base on my impatient to get someone I really can trust and willing to assist me with this transaction. This transaction is 100% risk free and confidential.The young Rev that help me secure the safety of the consignment is a missionary worker In the US. You will be well attended to when you want to claim the Consignment, you'll be meeting with someone face to face, for your safety and transparency.CONTACT sr.jhuntsman1@foxmail.com
Regards
Jon

This just in:

are you looking for a relationship? i'm not hehe!

want to have some fun?. My username is TightGal10