It is sad but there are times in our life when someone gives an order you have to carry it or or get shot or tried for something and go to prison.
I know what Nam did to way too many people. I am sure your hubby has memories that he would rather forget. We lost many friends by suicide after they came home from there.
There are attrocities in all wars. Innocent people die. My Lai was uncalled for but the people that ordered it walked away free and the men that followed orders paid for it.