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Thread: Memorable Obituaries

  1. #1
    Danny62 Guest

    Memorable Obituaries

    "Hugh Massingberd, a former editor of the obituaries page of the Daily Telegraph, recalled the unwieldy challenges posed by a refusal to capitulate to the seductions of the posthumous parallax [a bending of life histories toward all that is light and wholesome, away from anything that might reflect unfavorably on the dead].
    "'One day, an injunction arrived from on high that we were to make a point of including the cause of death,' he reminisced in The Spectator [in 2001]. 'As it happened, a candidate for the morgue of the morrow, a priapic jazzer, had handed in his dinner pail after a penile implant had unfortunately exploded. We duly complied with the editorial diktat.'"[SIZE=1][/SIZE]

  2. #2
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    memorable epitaph

    in Winchester Cathedral:

    Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
    Who caught his death
    Drinking cold small beer.
    A good soldier is ne'er forgot
    Whether he dieth by musket or by pot.

  3. #3
    PvN73 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegan View Post
    in Winchester Cathedral:

    Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
    Who caught his death
    Drinking cold small beer.
    A good soldier is ne'er forgot
    Whether he dieth by musket or by pot.
    Haaaaaaaaa, GOLD. I will tip my cold beer to ya Finnegan

  4. #4
    Danny62 Guest
    Hopefully it wasn't a leaded Penile implant?

  5. 11-21-2007, 11:56 PM

  6. #5
    onehunglow Guest

    Obituaries in your local paper.

    First thing I look at as well as the Nevada on line papers. I never used to at all, but it must come with age.

  7. #6
    Zombiegirl Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by onehunglow View Post
    First thing I look at as well as the Nevada on line papers. I never used to at all, but it must come with age.
    I think you're right about that. A lot of my friends do, and I guess the only reason I don't is because I just don't think about it. That is the highlight of the day for some of my friends, LOL

  8. #7
    Kathyf Guest
    I read them everyday.

  9. #8
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    Every morning before I go to work I have to go to my hometown paper, read the obituries to see who has died there, I am at the age where I am starting to see old school chums who have passed away.

  10. #9
    Zombiegirl Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by eca1094 View Post
    Every morning before I go to work I have to go to my hometown paper, read the obituries to see who has died there, I am at the age where I am starting to see old school chums who have passed away.
    I guess I'm at that age too. A couple of years ago, they had a service award recognition ceremony for employees who had been with the company for 20 years. I remember seeing people I had worked with in the past, and the people who had hired in with me on the same day and thought to myself....boy they sure all look OLD!! LOL I wonder if they thought that about me? I know I don't look a day over 29, hahahaha

  11. #10
    attackatdawn Guest
    Yeah I always look there first

  12. #11
    MorbidMolly Guest
    I have since I was a kid.....I`ve been warped a long long time now....

  13. #12
    Death Hag Chris Guest
    have you ever gone through em, then scratched the names of the dead out of the phone book?

  14. #13
    smellslikealmonds Guest
    that's the first thing i look at
    that's how i found out my birth mother's mother died

  15. #14
    SuburbanDeathHag Guest
    That is my go-to page every morning. My husband was reading the obits out loud to me this morning. I told him he is a death hag, and he was deeply injured by that, as he thinks I am a sicko.

  16. #15
    Jaxxx Guest
    Been doing this for a long time, when I grew up the town had a radio show called "Hometown News" and it gave the obits of everyone who died, something about them, and their families, so I blame ole Rudy for my afflection.

  17. #16
    poppie Guest
    Yes, I read the obits everyday. I belong to an ex-GI military group and whenever the obit lists the woman was in whatever military branch, I always send her family a sympathy card from her "sisters in the military". Have gotten some positive feedback and the family seems to appreciate that small gesture of a card.

  18. #17
    Katie Guest
    I have always read them. You learn lots about people doing so. I also live in a small town, so generally I know them, or know some of the family.

  19. #18
    Katie Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by poppie View Post
    Yes, I read the obits everyday. I belong to an ex-GI military group and whenever the obit lists the woman was in whatever military branch, I always send her family a sympathy card from her "sisters in the military". Have gotten some positive feedback and the family seems to appreciate that small gesture of a card.

    Tha is a wonderful thing that you do. Good for you.

  20. #19
    WendyK Guest
    I look at the obits and then the crime report and once a week they post the divorces.

  21. #20
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    Love the obits.

  22. #21
    PvN73 Guest
    I like to view them as a competition and see how has the most entries.

    Maybe we should put one in the paper when Milte gets to 500 and leaves

  23. #22
    mgpm Guest
    I like to read the obits. Even if I don't know them, I like reading about how they lived. I wish more obits would say how they died. I've noticed that now some obits are including names of ex spouses. I still read the obits from my hometown paper (where I grew up). Mostly I see people I graduated with's parents, grandparents, etc.

  24. #23
    MIZIZVOGUE Guest
    They are the first thing I read. I like to look at the ages and average those out. For instance, last week, the average age of the dead were 71.

  25. #24
    Armcast Guest

    Cool Obituary

    Some time ago, someone posted a "mean" obituary. This is an obit that seems pretty cool. I would have loved to have met someone like this...


    http://casperstartribune.net/articles/2008/09/15/news/obituaries/a8e87b45d855b1be872574c4007aa6d2.txt


    James William "Jim" Adams


    DOUGLAS -- A celebration of life for James William "Jim" Adams, 53, will be held at a later date.

    He died Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2008 at Memorial Hospital of Converse County in Douglas.

    Jim, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other's courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle. It was primarily as a result of being stubborn and not following doctor's orders or maybe for just living life a little too hard for better than five decades.

    He was born June 8, 1955 in Garrison, N.D. the son of James William and Ruby Helen (Clark) Adams.

    He was sadly deprived of his final wish, which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date. True to his personal style, he spent his final hours joking with medical personnel, cussing and begging for narcotics and bargaining with God to look over his loving dog, Biscuit, and his family.

    He would like to thank all "his ladies" for putting up with him the last 30 years.

    During his life, he excelled at anything he put his mind to. He loved to hear and tell jokes and spin tales of grand adventures he may or may not have had.

    He is survived by five sons, Jeremiah Adams and his wife, Nicole, Mica Olivas, Wade Olivas, Brice Simpson and Cole Adams; sister, Jerri Giegerich; two ex-wives, Vickie Harrison and Marilyn Williams; four grandchildren; two nieces; and two great-nieces.

    He was preceded in death by his parents and a brother-in-law.

    In lieu of flowers, he asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your favorite watering hole, get rip roaring drunk and tell the stories he no longer can.

    Gorman Funeral Homes - Converse Chapel of Douglas is in charge of the arrangements.



    ********************************


    I think I'd like my obit to read somewhat like this.

  26. #25
    Cataroo Guest
    That's frickin' awesome! This was obviously someone who lived life on his own terms!! Gotta love it!

  27. #26
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    That is AWESOME!! Love it!

  28. #27
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    I find it sad and selfish. Look at all the people he must have hurt along the way. I know, I'm an old stick-in-the-mud!


  29. #28
    endsleigh03 Guest
    I am loving that obit.

  30. #29
    Chevyheaven Guest
    I hate it when I die and people have to be sad. Life is something to be rejoiced and celebrated. Good for him!!

  31. #30
    Cataroo Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Philliefan View Post
    I find it sad and selfish. Look at all the people he must have hurt along the way. I know, I'm an old stick-in-the-mud!
    Menopause kicking in again, Phillie??

  32. #31
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    I love it. You might as well really have the last word.

    ETA: Here is the opposite: friends and family having the last word. I'm sure some of you death hags have seen this one.

    Last edited by Luanne; 09-22-2008 at 07:23 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  33. #32
    djdeath-hag Guest
    Perfect....I'm sure he's smiling now.

  34. #33
    Lita Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Philliefan View Post
    I find it sad and selfish. Look at all the people he must have hurt along the way. I know, I'm an old stick-in-the-mud!

    It's not sad and selfish if it's what he wanted written. I think if the family objected they would have written or submitted something different. It sounds like this guy kept his family laughing for years even if he did imbibe too much liquor.

  35. #34
    Martini M. Guest
    I loved it, although I can see where it wouldn't necessarily be everyone's cup of tea. He didn't speak ill of anyone else that I could see.

  36. #35
    DeadRinger Guest
    I want the same guy to write my obit.

  37. #36
    Carrie Guest
    That really IS cool...he must have been a great guy.

  38. #37
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    At least he went out with a bang

  39. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cataroo View Post
    Menopause kicking in again, Phillie??
    lol - yeah I had to take a xanax...


  40. #39
    jeca Guest
    LOL Those are both good! I want an obit like that! (Not the exploding penile implant. )

  41. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeca View Post
    LOL Those are both good! I want an obit like that! (Not the exploding penile implant. )
    LOL. I'm thinking you're prolly safe, Jeca.

  42. #41
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    Amusing obit from local paper

    A somewhat well-known Corpus Christi lawyer passed away Monday and tonight I read his obit in the newspaper of our one-horse town...don't know who wrote it or how self-serving it may be, just found it amusing and thought I would share it with fellow hags...oh and the Knuckleheads mentioned at the end of the obit is a barbecue joint in Corpus Christi.

    Seems the scan is a bit hard to read, so I typed it out...

    DOUGLAS TINKER
    Douglas Tinker died on November 10, 2008. He wore
    out, he bit the dust, he dropped off the twig, he lost his
    appeal. He was frustrated that he could not stay longer, as
    he thought there might be just a bit more marrow in the
    bone of life, but in the end he was okay with it. He said
    that when you get right down to and realize that nothing
    in, or about life really, ultimately matters, why then things
    get easier. Kinda takes the pressure off. And he had one
    hell of a run!

    He loved boats and water and people and folks who
    loved boats and water and people. He was kind to
    strangers, children, waiters and bartenders and always
    tipped well. He was a champion of the working man, and a
    thorn in the side of the corrupt, the powerful, and the self-
    righteous. He was proudest when he helped for free or next
    to free just because it was right. He would listen to bums
    tell their tales of woe and then give them a twenty and say
    "It's alright if you buy booze with that." He understood people
    and did not judge them. He taught a lot of us everything
    we know as lawyers, but he was quick to point out that
    he had not taught us everything he knows.

    He would knock an opponent down, but always helped
    them back up. There is not a judge or a lawyer or prosecutor
    in South Texas who doesn't have a favorite Tinker story.
    And when they tell it, they always smile. He called himself a
    one-trick-pony. There are sure a lot of just plain folks who
    are glad that he was on their side. That he was their one-
    trick-pony.

    Doug loved dogs, women, booze, boats, friends and
    defending people accused of committing crimes. When the
    whole world was down on somebody, he figured there ought
    to be at least one person to stand up for them, regardless of
    what they were accused of. So he took cases others
    would not take. Because it was right. If it paid a little bit, or
    got some attention, well, that was okay too.

    He is preceded in death by his son Anderson Tinker,
    whom he loved with his whole heart and missed terribly.
    He is survived by his sister xxxxxxx and her husband
    xxxxx of Houston; his sister xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx of Dallas
    and his brother XXXXXXXXXXXX and wife xxxxxxxxxxx of Hawaii.

    So now the one-trick-pony has gone to the barn.
    Remember him well.

    A memorial service will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday,
    November 13, 2008 at the Galvan Ballroom, 1632 Agnes
    St. In lieu of flowers, cash donations may be made at the
    service for the girls at Knuckleheads.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Tinker obit.jpg 
Views:	104 
Size:	229.9 KB 
ID:	9815  
    Last edited by Ima Sikfuk; 11-13-2008 at 08:54 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    American Progress

  43. #42
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    Ummmm...am I missing a link or something here???
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsvGs...feature=colike

    My own, personal, Dexter...

  44. #43
    stranger_than_strange Guest
    ummm Sik where's the obit?? I got all excited and now i got nothing lol

  45. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by stranger_than_strange View Post
    ummm Sik where's the obit?? I got all excited and now i got nothing lol
    Y'all are too quick, I was re-editing it...sorry...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    American Progress

  46. #45
    Armcast Guest
    Pretty cool obit for what seems to be a pretty cool guy...

  47. #46
    stranger_than_strange Guest
    Thanks for sharing that Sik it was funny as hell but told the story.I liked it.

  48. #47
    Frank 'N' Howie Guest
    Gaw...that's cool...My obit is gonna say "Ding Dong the witch is dead"...

  49. #48
    kimba Guest
    Cool..I wonder if he wrote it before he died? Or if his buddies wrote it?

  50. #49
    stranger_than_strange Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by howDIDyouBUYit? View Post
    Gaw...that's cool...My obit is gonna say "Ding Dong the witch is dead"...
    Lmao Nice to see you got a plan Howdid

  51. #50
    Lout_Rampage Guest
    I wish there were more obits like that one. 99% of them do no justice to the deceased.

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