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Thread: Memorable Obituaries

  1. #51
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    Am I old or what.....I still can`t read the damn thing.....* sniff *

  2. #52
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    I had to quadruple click to make it big enough to legible for my ancient peepers...but it was well worth the clicks. In fact....as I was typing this....the left lens fell out of my gay-focals....and I'm too visually impaired (o.k., it could be the booze....it could happen) to operate the lilliputian screw driver, so I had to do the hardware hand off to my hubs. Sucks to get old....but sucks to die too. I really did enjoy the obit once I finally made it big enough for me to read!

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by howDIDyouBUYit? View Post
    Gaw...that's cool...My obit is gonna say "Ding Dong the witch is dead"...
    Dang, that's the one I had ready for my hubby's ex wife

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by MorbidMolly View Post
    Am I old or what.....I still can`t read the damn thing.....* sniff *
    Whew, I thought it was just me !!


    What fresh hell is this ? ~ Dorothy Parker

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  5. #55
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    That's a really cool obit. I'm betting he wrote it himself. He sounds like he was a character.
    If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

  6. #56
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    Aw, sounds like he was a great guy, someone who would be fun to hang out with.

  7. #57
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    If we could all have such a testimony about us! I think that was beautiful.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by trose View Post
    That's a really cool obit. I'm betting he wrote it himself. He sounds like he was a character.
    I was thinking exactly the same thing


    What fresh hell is this ? ~ Dorothy Parker

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  9. #59
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    I was thinking he wrote it himself too. My uncle's obit is like every other obit out there and doesn't really tell about who he was. I love this obit. You really get a feel for the guy and who he was.

  10. #60
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    I think this is the best one I've ever read. Most obits just give the facts - I like to know what kind of person they were. I hope mine reads that well.
    All women are angels, and even when someone breaks one of our wings, we still fly. On a broomstick. We are flexible like that.

  11. #61
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    I'll have to write my own as well although I am not nearly as cool as this guy.

  12. #62
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    Maybe we should start a new thread where everyone writes their own!
    Last edited by STORMIE; 11-13-2008 at 10:30 AM.
    All women are angels, and even when someone breaks one of our wings, we still fly. On a broomstick. We are flexible like that.

  13. #63
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    That is really awesome!

  14. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by djdeath-hag View Post
    I had to quadruple click to make it big enough to legible for my ancient peepers...but it was well worth the clicks. In fact....as I was typing this....the left lens fell out of my gay-focals....and I'm too visually impaired (o.k., it could be the booze....it could happen) to operate the lilliputian screw driver, so I had to do the hardware hand off to my hubs. Sucks to get old....but sucks to die too. I really did enjoy the obit once I finally made it big enough for me to read!


    HAAAAAAAA....DJ you are GOLD...........I`m happy to say my Ima buddy took the time to pm me with a version an old lady like me can read....thanks Ima .....I need to work on my obit....that one totally blows what I have out of the water.....LOL

  15. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by STORMIE View Post
    Maybe we should start a new thread where everyone writes their own!
    Now that WOULD be interesting. Kinda preparing for our own futures !! (It could be most amusing too !!)


    What fresh hell is this ? ~ Dorothy Parker

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  16. #66
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    "gay-focals"?

  17. #67
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    That is hands-down the best obit I have ever read and I don't care who wrote it.

  18. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by howDIDyouBUYit? View Post
    Gaw...that's cool...My obit is gonna say "Ding Dong the witch is dead"...
    No it won't...
    It will say

    "It was great when it all began...
    I was a regular FAD Fan...
    But, it was over when they had a plan...
    To start Screwing with my Frankie Scan...
    Now, the only thing that gives me hope...
    Is that Death was my favorite Dope...
    FAD Tints my world, keeps me safe, when I'm goin' insane..."


  19. #69
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    http://www.legacy.com/lbpresstelegra...onID=123364411


    http://www.legacy.com/lbpresstelegra...onID=123364413



    I thought these obits were touching, a mother and son who died a day apart. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that their birthdays are a day apart too. *sniff*

  20. #70
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    Unhappy

    Quote Originally Posted by Morty View Post
    http://www.legacy.com/lbpresstelegra...onID=123364411


    http://www.legacy.com/lbpresstelegra...onID=123364413



    I thought these obits were touching, a mother and son who died a day apart. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that their birthdays are a day apart too. *sniff*
    I wonder what the situation was that they passed so close together?

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morty View Post
    http://www.legacy.com/lbpresstelegra...onID=123364411


    http://www.legacy.com/lbpresstelegra...onID=123364413



    I thought these obits were touching, a mother and son who died a day apart. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that their birthdays are a day apart too. *sniff*
    Now that is downright eerie !!


    What fresh hell is this ? ~ Dorothy Parker

    ]

  22. #72
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    Just saw an obit for a lil ole lady who's mother's name was Azma. I kid you not.

  23. #73
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    Cool obits you've all posted hags!


    Here one day, Gone one night, Gone too soon...
    Missing you forever...

  24. #74
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    .

    Life goes on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SomeChick View Post
    He sure packed a lot of living into 80 years! I bet he was fun to be around.

  26. #76
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    Yep, quite a character!
    .

    Life goes on.

  27. #77
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    http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?sec...rre&id=9463250

    This guy wrote his own, and had quite the sense of humor

    Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.

    He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.

    He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids.

    Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.

    He was born in Philadelphia, Pa., April 20,1933 at 10:38 p.m., and weighed in at a healthy seven pounds, four ounces, and was 22 inches long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl.

    He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother's great relief, from John Bartram High School in June 1951.

    Walter was a Marine Corps veteran of the Korean War, having served from October 1951 to September 1954, with overseas duty in Japan from June 1953 till August 1954. He attained the rank of sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943.

    He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Philadelphia Naval Yard from 1956-61; operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961-62; and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962-93. (Very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont, and he always claimed he had only been been hired to fill a position.)

    He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Department, and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1963-72. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Department at the old DuPont Airport site (now Barley Mill Plaza).

    In 1973 he was promoted to manufacturing engineering technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then "downsized" in December 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June 1994, doing the same job that he had been "downsized" from, and stayed until July 1995.

    He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996-99.

    There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors.

    Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What's a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week.

    Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt's life in their own way; raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate.

    Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.

    A memorial luncheon in Walt's honor will be held Saturday, March 15, at 1 p.m., at Deerfield, Newark.

    This obit has not only made people laugh, it's inspired a lot of people to, in fact, do something nice. So Walter Bruhl, Jr., with the help of his grandson, Sam, can proudly state "Mission Accomplished."

  28. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheWrath of MadelineKahn View Post
    http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?sec...rre&id=9463250

    This guy wrote his own, and had quite the sense of humor

    Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.

    He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.

    He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids.

    Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.

    He was born in Philadelphia, Pa., April 20,1933 at 10:38 p.m., and weighed in at a healthy seven pounds, four ounces, and was 22 inches long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl.

    He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother's great relief, from John Bartram High School in June 1951.

    Walter was a Marine Corps veteran of the Korean War, having served from October 1951 to September 1954, with overseas duty in Japan from June 1953 till August 1954. He attained the rank of sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943.

    He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Philadelphia Naval Yard from 1956-61; operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961-62; and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962-93. (Very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont, and he always claimed he had only been been hired to fill a position.)

    He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Department, and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1963-72. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Department at the old DuPont Airport site (now Barley Mill Plaza).

    In 1973 he was promoted to manufacturing engineering technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then "downsized" in December 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June 1994, doing the same job that he had been "downsized" from, and stayed until July 1995.

    He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996-99.

    There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors.

    Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What's a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week.

    Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt's life in their own way; raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate.

    Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.

    A memorial luncheon in Walt's honor will be held Saturday, March 15, at 1 p.m., at Deerfield, Newark.

    This obit has not only made people laugh, it's inspired a lot of people to, in fact, do something nice. So Walter Bruhl, Jr., with the help of his grandson, Sam, can proudly state "Mission Accomplished."
    that is frickin' awesome!

  29. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheWrath of MadelineKahn View Post
    http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?sec...rre&id=9463250



    Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.
    It's the Parrot Sketch!

    Also, damn his wife for not propping him in the corner with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand. Then again, I'm sure all of his friends have that image in their minds, so it's nearly as good as if she had.

  30. #80
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    That is brilliant !

  31. #81
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    This fellow also wrote his own. I'd say he did a pretty good job.


    WEST PITTSTON McGroarty Achieves Room Temperature!


    Kevin J. McGroarty, 53, of West Pittston, died Tuesday, July 22, 2014, after battling a long fight with mediocracy.
    Born 1960 in the Nesbitt Hospital, he was the bouncing baby boy of the late Lt. Col. Edward M. McGroarty and Helen Jane (Hudson) McGroarty, whom the New York Times should have noted as extraordinary parents.

    He was baptized at St. Cecilia Church, Exeter, which later burned to the ground, attended Butler Street Elementary, which was later torn down, and middle school at 6th Street in Wyoming, now an apartment building.

    He enjoyed elaborate practical jokes, over-tipping in restaurants, sushi and Marx Brother's movies. He led a crusade to promote area midget wrestling, and in his youth was noted for his many unsanctioned daredevil stunts.
    He was preceded in death by brother, Airborne Ranger Lt. Michael F. McGroarty, and many beloved pets, Chainsaw, an English Mastiff in Spring 2009, Baron, an Irish Setter in August 1982, Peter Max, a turtle, Summer 1968; along with numerous house flies and bees, but they were only acquaintances.

    McGroarty leaves behind no children (that he knows of), but if he did their names would be son, "Almighty Thor" McGroarty; and daughter, "Butter Cup Patchouli."

    McGroarty was a veteran of the advertising industry since 1983. McGroarty was a pioneer in Apple computing, purchasing one of the first in the Wyoming Valley in 1985. He would like to remind his friends: "Please, don't email me, I'm dead."

    McGroraty was a founding partner of Pyramid Advertising, and finally principal owner of award-winning Rhino Media until 2006. He was also an adjunct instructor at Luzerne County Community College, from 2005-2009.
    He will be laid to rest at Mount Olivet Cemetery, section 7N. He asks to please make note of his new address. McGroarty's headstone reads: "I'll Be Right Back," one of his favorite sayings. He leaves this world with few regrets, one being told in grade school, his adult life would see the Hershey candy bar rise in cost to over a dollar. He maintained given the resources and initiative, he would rally the good citizens of the Commonwealth to a revolution that would force that price to its original 35-cent market value, a dream he was not able to fulfill, by his own admission the reason: "I was distracted by many beautiful women."

    In lieu of flowers, friends are asked to please give generously to the Pennsylvania State Police Troop "P" Camp Cadet Fund.

    A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 10 a.m. Monday in St. Cecilia Church of St. Barbara Parish, 1700 Wyoming Ave., Exeter, following a brief rant of how the government screwed up all of the Bugs Bunny cartoons trying to censor violence. This will be presented by his attorney, Bret Zankel, Esq. Friends may call from 9 to 10 a.m. Monday in the church.

    McGroarty leaves behind a thought for all to ponder, given years of gathering wisdom from different religions and deep study of the Greek philosophers: "It costs nothing to be nice" and "Never stick a steak knife in an electrical outlet."

    Arrangements by the Metcalfe-Shaver-Kopcza Funeral Home Inc., 504 Wyoming Ave., Wyoming.

    http://fox17online.com/2014/07/28/ma...efore-he-dies/

    "Do mind the pedestrian, Richard."
    - Hyacinth Bucket

  32. #82
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    Love it!!!!!!!!! Best part: along with numerous house flies and bees, but they were only acquaintances.


    ""It's a mop with a tongue! Can you imagine the dingleberries?" - Mammy


  33. #83
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    There is probably a better thread to put this in but I just don't know what it might be called. A beautiful tribute to a stillborn baby girl. Warning - photos of the deceased baby at this link. https://www.facebook.com/lovesongeve...type=1&theater
    Regards,
    Tamie
    *****************************************************************
    When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others. It is the same when you are stupid.

  34. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by tamiele View Post
    There is probably a better thread to put this in but I just don't know what it might be called. A beautiful tribute to a stillborn baby girl. Warning - photos of the deceased baby at this link. https://www.facebook.com/lovesongeve...type=1&theater
    Wow. That is very moving. How horribly sad. I can't imagine having to go through that. She was absolutely beautiful and perfect.

    ""It's a mop with a tongue! Can you imagine the dingleberries?" - Mammy


  35. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by findadeathaddict View Post
    Wow. That is very moving. How horribly sad. I can't imagine having to go through that. She was absolutely beautiful and perfect.
    I agree. And using black and white. Highlighted the good and hid the bad.
    Regards,
    Tamie
    *****************************************************************
    When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It is difficult only for the others. It is the same when you are stupid.

  36. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by tamiele View Post
    I agree. And using black and white. Highlighted the good and hid the bad.
    I bookmarked it. I have looked at it several times. It is so heartbreaking. Damn, I can't imagine that. I have 3 children. If I had to go through that I would be in the nuthouse.

    ""It's a mop with a tongue! Can you imagine the dingleberries?" - Mammy


  37. #87
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    Obit of a comic book fan.

    http://www.startribune.com/obituarie...joseph-purmort

    Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party. He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father's untimely death.
    Morgan

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    This one's hilarious. Two-word obit: "Doug died."

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...uary/29619781/
    "I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where sandwiches live." ~~~seen on Facebook


  40. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by RiaBrown View Post
    This one's hilarious. Two-word obit: "Doug died."

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...uary/29619781/
    Here is a article about someone who must have been one big S.O.B.- Unfortunately, I have known a few who deserve the same kind of death notice
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/family-de...202200279.html

  41. #91
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    SCATHING OBITUARY GOES VIRAL
    http://wjla.com/news/offbeat/scathin...aks-against-it

    Wow! "Someone" had issues with this woman, However from what I have seen so far, no one is taking responsibility
    for being the author of this IMO rather passive aggressive obituary..odd.
    Apparently the son of the deceased claims his sister wrote it and then realized that it was plagiarized from another woman's 2008 obit -
    Again, odd.
    In the notice it reads that she liked her drugs and battled depression, Then the author goes on to blame the dead lady for having the illness.. It seems to me that the writer of this death notice is very ignorant to what depression is:
    The way the cowardly author contradicts him/herself throughout the obituary is strange.

    I had a mother who was like what the writer described, However I would never put a obituary out there like this! I feel its tacky. What do you all think?
    Last edited by hisandhearse; 07-08-2017 at 10:23 AM.

  42. #92
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    Wow, that obituary is harsh. Someone did not like this woman.

    I can understand how they feel though. My grandmother was not a nice person and was terrible to her family, but when she died we did what was expected and made sure she was giving a normal obituary.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DexterKitty View Post
    I wonder what the situation was that they passed so close together?
    IT looks like it was Leukemia for the son and maybe the mother as well.
    "My Darling Girl ,when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage." ~Aunt Frances~
    And It Harm None Do What ye will. Wise Intelligent Teacher Courageous Healer. #METOO

  44. #94
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    It reminds mee of that "FUCK YOU" tombstone.
    .

    Life goes on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheWrath of MadelineKahn View Post
    Cindy Tapia
    Our Town
    In Loving Memory Brandon Lee

    You can fix anything but a blank page. --Bonnie Hearn Hill

  48. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheWrath of MadelineKahn View Post
    That's a great obit!
    Seems like he and everybody else kept their sense of humor concerning the unavoidable.
    Throwing feces.

    Just. Don't. Do. It.

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